Memories of an Old Man is a series of memoirs written by West of 50 member, Ken Felts.
Naval service over, I returned to my family home in Dodge City, Kansas. I took a short vacation and then entered my senior year at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, Kansas. I joined the family church and participated in their activities. I majored in Personnel Administration in college and graduated on June 4, 1956.
Ken Felts' partner Phillip at age 22 in 1957
Being “straight” had become my lifestyle and I rarely missed such encounters. With my degree and lots of time left on my G.I. Education bill, I decided to attend the University of New Mexico at Albuquerque and immerse myself in Southwest history and culture. That experience ignited my lifelong love of the Southwest and Native American tribes and their many stunning crafts of rugs, pottery, art and other beautiful works.
Money was getting low, and I needed to work. Remembering the wonderful weather of Southern California, I decided to return to Long Beach. I quickly found work as an insurance investigator for Retail Credit Company and was assigned a desk in a room with about 20 other guys. With many new forms to learn as well as other routines, and it was confusing at first. But a co-worker came to my rescue and offered to help.
Ken Felts' partner Phillip upon graduation from college in 1957
Phillip was 5 years younger than me and had moved to California with his sister with whom he lived with in nearby Bellflower. We soon started having coffee together before work, then gathered our assignments and drove to our respective territories to collect information. Usually by early afternoon we were back at our desk filling out forms. It was not unusual for us to be about the last ones to leave and we would occasionally have dinner together.
Soon he introduced me to his sister, and we began spending weekends together taking short trips around the area. But as far as I could tell, we were both “straight,” that is, until one evening in my apartment as we were in conversation, he leaned over and kissed me. Sparks flew, “straight” went out the window, and a new chapter began for us.
Phillip had graduated from a Christian college and sang in the choir of the local church that I often attended with him. His sister was aware of our sexual orientation, but at that time, California was very anti-gay with strict laws forbidding any homosexual activities.
Ken Felts' partner Phillip exploring a mine in 1958
When my apartment lease was completed, I moved in with Phillip and we shared his bed and bedroom. Our sex life was spectacular, and we enjoyed each other’s company. One Saturday night, we elevated our activities to a higher level and life was good.
The next morning, Sunday, we were in church with Phillip singing and me sitting in a pew. The sermon topic was the punishment for sins and the descent into the fires of hell for those who do not heed the warnings. My early Christian learnings were re-awakened, and I was filled with guilt. The pew began to get very warm and fire balls were falling about me; I could hardly wait to get out of the church. How could anything that feels so right be so wrong?